"nesting" and nostalgia

I've been on a bit of a blogging hiatus because we've had a busy summer full of traveling and other adventures. I know that when there is a lot going on is precisely when I should be blogging, but I just get wrapped up in living life rather than writing about it...!

After several tiring (though worthwhile) vacations, we are home and settling back into normal life. Santiago started a new school year of teaching today, and I am trying to figure out how my days should go now that I have a toddler.

Since returning from our last trip I have felt a strong desire to simplify everything in my life and purge everything I don’t need. I've felt a weird motivation to finally tackle all those projects I've been meaning to do, finally sell those things that need selling, finally get back into (better) contact with (nearly) lost friends. And so I've been doing some strange, non-pregnant nesting...

"mommy guilt?"

I was reading something the other day that got me thinking and… Well you know what, there’s no point in explaining how my thought process works. It really is a mystery, even to me! Somehow though I came to this conclusion: I can’t be vocal about my parenting philosophies with most people I know/meet. Since becoming a parent I have struggled with this. When someone says something that I don’t agree with, do I speak up to let them know I don’t agree, or do I remain silent to keep the peace? Mostly I’ve chosen to remain silent. This shouldn’t be very hard for me, since I do generally keep pretty quiet about my opinions anyway. It’s not that I don’t have very strong opinions, or that I’m not highly passionate about my opinions. It’s just that I don’t much care for contention, and since I live in [enter strictly conservative area here] and am quite strictly liberal, voicing my opinions almost certainly and consistently brings contention. With some people, I feel comfortable voicing my beliefs, because I know that while they do not agree with me, they do respect me, and we can have a healthy discussion. However, most people I come in contact with here lack a certain amount of respect for anyone who does not worship the Republican party…

I don’t mean to turn this into a political thing, so let me get back on track.

Car Seat Safety Info

I rode to Costco last week with a friend of mine. I brought along our carseat, of course, for Pipsqueak to ride safely in, and as I was struggling to install it with the seatbelt in the back of the van she asked me if Pip ever just rode forward-facing. It was an innocent enough question, but it got me thinking about how strange some of my antics must look to others sometimes. And so in effort to de-strange myself (and also to educate anyone who may be wondering, since carseat safety is a little passion of mine), I am going to write a bit about carseat safety... I also just want to have all my information kept in one place so I have it on hand should I need it.

Adventures in Gentle Discipline

I've meant to write a bit about some of the books I've been reading this year.

One of my goals this year (it wasn't one my main New Year's resolutions, but it was one of my goals for personal growth) was to read a lot more. I didn't attach a number of books to it, but I promised myself I would always have a book I was reading, and also always have one picked out to read when finished with the current one.

So far this year I've read 4 books completely and am working on my fifth and sixth (simultaneously).

My parenting philosophies

I was thinking recently about my parenting philosophies, and how they’ve changed a little since actually becoming a parent (I had such different ideas about raising children when I was an educator rather than a mother). And so I sat down and started writing about my beliefs. I had a hard time putting them into words and I didn’t get too far but here’s a start:

I believe that when I respond to my child’s cries he learns that he can trust me, that I will provide for him and take care of him, that I am there whenever he needs me, that the world is a safe place. I believe that when I respond to his needs I foster his independence, as he learns that he can safely explore the world on his own because he knows that if he does need me I will be there to help him.

I believe that the need to be held, snuggled, comforted is as great a need as the need for food, warmth, good health, good sleep, cleanliness, etc. The feelings of loneliness, fear, or anxiety are real and need to be addressed just as much as the feelings of hunger, pain, discomfort, etc.

I believe that a baby deserves the best start in life, and that best start is human milk. I believe that most women are capable of producing enough milk to feed and sustain their babies. I believe that most breastfeeding problems can be solved if the mother is dedicated to finding a solution and doesn’t give up. It may take a lot of work, it may be painful, it may be incredibly difficult, but I do believe it is (almost always) possible if the mother is truly dedicated to making it work, at any cost. With that said, I believe that a mother has the best instinct on what her baby needs and she should follow that instinct.

I believe in making informed decisions regarding every aspect of parenting. I believe parents should research everything and make decisions for their children based on their own research, and not merely do things just because “that’s what everyone does…”

I believe women and men should become educated about child-rearing and discipline. I believe that being a parent is the biggest job a person could have and it should be approached in an educated manner. After becoming educated about children, development, discipline, etc, I believe a mother and father should trust their own instincts about the care of their children. As parents, they know their children best.

I believe that all children, regardless of gender, should be taught gentleness, sensitivity, empathy, kindness, and how to be nurturing. I believe that each child deserves the right to grow into who he or she wants to be. I believe that it is my job as a parent to allow my children to become individuals and pursuit their own talents and interests. I believe children deserve respect.