Monday, January 4, 2010

In Which I Reveal My Wickedness

Sometimes being at church makes me cringe.

Not because of the Gospel. I like that part, and the sciptures, and really most churchy things.

But sometimes, someone says something that just makes me feel all sick in my stomach. I know that I do not have the typical political leanings of my religion. I know that I in fact have some controversial opinions for a mormon. But I just don't think Church is the place to comment on politics, like, at all. I really don't like the assumption that all mormons have the same opinion on politics.

I know this potentially will open up a can of worms but...

Maybe I am going to hell (well yes that is quite possible, although I never thought it would be for my political leanings). Maybe I should think that Proposition 8 is a good idea. Maybe I should laugh when the Relief Society teacher makes an "Adam and Steve" comment. But it just makes me squirm in my cushy folding chair...

I understand why the Church supports Prop 8. I get it, I do. But at the same time, I also understand why personally I don't support it. And I feel like that's okay. I have struggled and I have prayed and I now feel like it's okay for me to believe the way I do and still be a good mormon.

And I know that homosexuality is a sin. And I know that an eternal family can be made up only of a husband and wife and their kids. And I know God didn't create Adam and Steve. But do I have to be comfortable with jokes like that being made at church, in a lesson? Am I being too sensitive?

This is just one example. Another thing that makes me all itchy inside is when people make comments on the whole "holiday vs. Christmas" nonsense. Another thing that really "got my goat" (what a great expression! I don't think I've ever used it before, but maybe I should start using it!) recently was someone's comments on parenting and discipline.

I don't know when respect for diversity became anti-Christian. I must have missed that memo, because I find nothing unChristian at all about respecting people and their differences. Quite the opposite, actually.

I don't mean to make this post all controversial, and I really don't care whether anyone agrees or disagrees with me, that's not what this is about. What it's about is that I don't get why people don't understand that, even in the LDS Church, there is a wide spectrum of personalities, opinions, politics, backgrounds, and why can't we just be mindful of that and not assume everyone thinks the same?

On a redeeming note, I had a wonderful personal scripture study yesterday. I read a fantastic talk by Elder Holland from the January Ensign, all about looking forward and having faith in the future and not living in the past. I recommend it to all. It's a wonderful way to ring in the new year!


diane26 said...

I know what you mean. I just sit there and smile. I mean I can't argue my point against a whole room and starting a fight in RS is certinally not a way to win friends. But I cannot make a blanket statement like "all gay marriage is wrong" when my SIL is a lesbian and her partner is very nice and they have kids that should be provided for but can't be apporpriately because they can't get married. Its a double edged sword.

Cat said...

Hi Rachel! Thanks for reading my blog! :)

I do the same thing that you do, but it really makes me squirm.

I personally don't feel like it's my business (or the government's) to legislate love and marriage (so long as both parties are of an appropriate, consenting age), and I think it's a shame that two people who love each other and *want* to commit to each other can't, and also can't have some of the basic legal rights of a partnership...

BUT. I do understand why, as a corporation, the Church supports bills like Proposition 8. I can imagine what would happen, legally and financially, to the Church if gay marriage were legalized.

So, on a big, whole-picture perspective, I can understand the Church's stance on gay marriage (and other things I don't necessarily agree with), but on a personal level, I just can't jive with it... And I'm okay with that.

But it does make Church meeting very uncomfortable for me sometimes...

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