Thursday, June 30, 2011

negative nancy

My blog has threatened to take over and start writing itself if I didn't hurry and post something (and it assured me in no uncertain terms that I would not like what it had to say), so here I am. Obligatory? Maybe, but beggars can't be choosers, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, and all that shtuff.

I'm an Oregonian now, and about 2 hours ago, when I first attempted to sit down and spit out a blog post, you probably would have gotten a post akin to an Oregon travel brochure: it's so green and beautiful (it is), the weather is temperate (actually I'm sitting inside with the screen door open and bundled up in a hoodie and sweatpants...), farmer's markets almost every day of the week totally ROCKS (it does), my backyard is a garden wonderland (also full of mosquitos, flies, ants, and spiders), we have a hot tub (that has cost us roughly 3.2 million dollars to get up and running...), and we love everything about being here. However, I have dealt with some truly despicable people today and I am now really grumpy. So you get the Grinch version of the story of our relocation.

The (terrible) moving company underestimated our shipment size and so they ran out of room on the moving van. We have now been waiting on a kitchen table and other "nonessentials" for over two weeks, with no delivery date in sight... Also, my beautiful blown-glass pitcher we bought in Mexico on our honeymoon was shattered in the move. And my George Foreman grill broke. And I'm missing a box including a silk plant and who knows what else (since the movers so helpfully labeled boxes with very descriptive markings such as, "storage items," and "garage items"). Also, they totally scratched up our bookshelves, but because they had them wrapped in their blue blankets when they carried them inside, I didn't notice until after they left. So, awesomely, they got away with it! And, they left black marks all over the carpets we had had professionally cleaned the night before.

The (horrible) company that the (terrible) moving company contracted out to set up our washer and dryer didn't do their job! When we ran our first load of laundry in 2 weeks, the washing machine basically danced across the floor, tearing up the laundry room flooring! Awesome. We then had a load of half-washed clothes (because I had to turn it off during the spin cycle or risk more dancing washer maneuvers) sitting in our washer for a week! Yay mildew smell! How I love you!

The (no good) previous owners of this house "forgot" to disclose (on that little old legal document aptly entitled "Seller's Disclosure Statement") that the dryer vent that runs under the house is actually full of water and not venting properly (or at all). And while we're on the subject, not one but two (very bad) house inspectors didn't notice this small problem either! I'm so glad we paid all that money for them to (not) do their jobs!

The (no good) previous owners of this house also lied about the hot tub being in working order. And their very very honest realtor is doing a nice job corroborating their story and covering for them in her very skilled Legalese.

Meanwhile, our crappy internet, which claims to be uploading at speeds of 7 mgps, keeps freezing up on me (and won't let me view pictures on facebook, which, let's face it, is one of the main reasons to have the internet these days!). And half the time Netflix doesn't work. Luckily we are cancelling this piece of poo and getting Comcast in a few days.

Also meanwhile, my kids are going bonkers and I have had it with tantrums.

Welcome to Oregon, suckers.

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