resolve.

Um. Hi. And whoops. Has it really been 5 months?

Life zips forward.

Instead of trying to play catch-up, let's just pretend I've been here all along. I'm currently having some sort of life crisis, mainly in that I feel like I am pretty much failing at just about everything.

I should be gentler on myself, I know that. After a few pretty spiritual experiences recently, I KNOW know that. But I'm pretty overwhelmed lately with my kids, and that makes me feel terribly guilty and inept at handling anything. It's not really a new thing, I guess. Basically, transitioning from one to two kids has been all but the death of me. I feel like Squeak's challenges, that started just before his third birthday (right around the time Pixie was born), have pulled me so far from where I was, and want to be, as a mother, and that makes me feel just terrible for both of my kids. For Squeak, because of how intensely he needs the mother I used to be, and for Pixie, because she never has really known her.

And so I am hoping that 2013 will be the year that she makes her return. I know I can be a great mother, and this year I am going to take care of *myself* so I have the energy to be that great mom. Because when I think about it, what it all comes down to is energy, and all the things that suck my energy, and how I need to change that.

So I'm going to take care of myself this year, mind, body, and soul. It will be a process.

I'm doing it for these little booty-shakers. Because they deserve the absolute best!

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Five Little Campers

We had a little family adventure last week. We packed up the kids, the dog, two tents (because the Squeak insisted on sleeping in his Ikea tent *inside* our family tent), four sleeping bags, four pillows, four ThermaRest sleeping pads, one Pack & Play, four bags of clothes, fishing gear, life jackets, towels, one cooler, and a whole bunch of snacks and we went camping in the mountains of Idaho for 3 days and 2 nights. We spent the time getting dirty, playing in the freezing cold (ironically-named) "Warm River," hiking, fishing, tubing, eating, and not sleeping. All in all a very successful camping trip!

The good life

Seriously? I did it AGAIN? I neglected my blog? Oops. I don't know why I just haven't been feeling the whole BLOG thing lately, but I haven't. I'll try to do better (why do I suddenly feel like I am back in school, making excuses about why I didn't finish one assignment or another?)...

Life has been hectic. I finished my project for church. It didn't turn out perfectly but it turned out well enough (I think. I hope. We'll see when the youth of the entire stake view it in a few weeks...). I am just glad to be done with it.

Squeak is in the throes of three. I swear, that kid is an anomaly. I know three is bad for everybody, but something about him and his personality makes it THE WORST for me (I know! I totally just one-upped ALL OF YOU - all two of you who read my blog!!!). I'm kidding. I know he's not the worst. But some days (about every other day, if I'm being honest) it feels like it.