Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Momma did a bad, bad thing

I'm not sure if my voice is hoarse because I have a sort-of cold or because I've spent all day yelling. How horrible is that?

The baby screamed all day long. She threw major tantrum after major tantrum, over things like not being able to climb onto her chair and me making her lie down for a diaper change and getting cooked carrots for dinner (oh the injustice! Except that after she actually calmed down enough to try some she realized she loves cooked carrots, and ate two whole bowls...).

It wasn't the baby I was yelling at all day, though.

It was the preschooler who insisted on imitating the baby's every wail. The preschooler who responded to every request with a firm "No!" The preschooler who threw the forehead thermometer thingy across the living room and broke it, even though he KNOWS the rule is to throw only balls. The preschooler who took out all my cds and dvds that hold our digital photographs and scattered them around the floor, even though he KNOWS the rule is to NEVER, EVER touch Mommy's discs. The preschooler who makes me feel like a total failure as a mother.

I don't know how to teach him, how to discipline him, how to talk to him so he actually hears me and listens to me.

Today was a bad, bad day.


Melissa said...

Hey Cat, I left a response about the headstone polish on my blog for you.

I have to comment on your post today and say that I'm so sorry. I hate those days. They are my bad mommy days. Sometimes I get so frustrated because I'm treating my children with so much more love and respect than I was treated and they still act yucky! All I can say is that is that it passed for me. My husband will say, "Remember when Jenna did this or that?" and I realize that I don't. She is my more difficult child, and before she had words, it was really hard. I think I've blocked out the hardest days because I seriously don't remember some of these instances my husband speaks about. I guess that's emotional survival? Hopefully you can give yourself a break today, and find it will be a little better/easier tomorrow. Hang in there!

-A said...

After miserably loud and obnoxious drive home followed by an hour of being ignored at bedtime, I completely lost my ability to be level headed. I "crashed" (as the bigger one called it) them into bed, screamed a lot and left the house sobbing at the failure of a mother I am.

I'm not glad your day was as terrible as mine, but I am glad to know I'm not the only one who is having toddler issues beyond their ability to handle rationally.

Jenna Consolo said...

Hi, I found your blog through Segullah.

Sorry about your bad day. I've had those days, where I've lost my voice from yelling, sad to admit. And I have a preschooler and some teenagers and they both make me feel like a total failure as a mother. It's the kids in the middle ages that give me some semblance of success. I guess we just have to hang in there. You're doing better than you think you are.

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